Blast Off!

541 THC 01 Blast Off!

It Begins Again!

Parp Parp, welcome aboard.

Many of you have been aboard the 541 already, many of you haven’t, not to worry we’ll get this old girl moving again.

The Five for One is a simple concept to grab hold of, I send out these ramblings and once you realise you have read five and not joined in on anything, it’s time to send one back. A One line reply qualifies, no reply don’t fly.

In 2008 the challenge was to get 501 replies, folk stepped up to the mark and we hit it, and even went beyond by 25 replies. Some of you are absolutely astounded by this, I know! It was quite a feat. You may feel you missed out, fear not you are included in this challenge. Let’s hit this one shall we?

Hmm…quite a build up, now I feel slightly apprehensive can we do this again?

Sure we can let’s hit this shit!

Oh, hold on a minute, I forgot to turn on the Tom McCormack Profanity Filter.

There we go.

Let’s hoop this poop.

I’ve had it for less than a week but I cannot stop playing it and it is fuelling my spraffing right now. “Shine! My Brother, My Ghost, My Brother” by the Julian Tulk Band – Wow!
Now you know how you have friends in a band and they put out something or you see them play a gig and you think they’re fairly good but the friend factor pumps it up to great? Yeah? Not with this album. I worked with Griff (the drummer) at the West Berkshire Brewery, through him I met the rest of the band (most of whom were in a great screamo punk band called Eyelessingaza) and have known them for some time.

I just cannot get enough of this album, I can’t believe I know people that produce such amazing sounds. I’ve never wanted to be a music critic so I’ll leave it at that.
I think this is my album of the year!

Listen to some of their tunes at www.myspace.com/juliantulk (It’s not what you would expect from guys who were a punk band previously – check it out, you might like it).

Julianna has been growing up at a rapid rate and even though her vocabulary increases in a seemingly exponential manner she still manages to come out with some corkers. We went to Lindsay’s 10-year University reunion at Skimore in Saratoga Springs and we were all in the same room in a guest house. We woke one morning, Julianna stretched, looked over at me and said “your snoring hurt my ears” then proceeded to do an impression of it. The sound she made was quite comical. Later I wanted her to repeat the sound for some of Linds’ friends. “Julianna, what did Daddy’s snoring sound like?”
No sound issued forth, just the following words: “a cow”.
I think I learned a valuable lesson there, my daughter is not a performing monkey.

So I guess Lindsay has learned to live with what amounts to a bronchial hippo sleeping beside her every night but there is one thing I can’t work out. What do soldiers in the field do? If you had me sleeping with you while out on operation you wouldn’t need a parabolic microphone to detect where our unit was camped. There must be people in the armed services who snore what do they do?

Brewing has been pretty hectic what more can I say? It always is. It does help having such a proficient padawan, Mr Nick Butler-Miles. He works so hard, he truly busts a gut.

(preface to the next tale: Baby Alice = Julianna’s favourite doll – formerly my sister’s daughter Little G’s)

Julianna has entered the “why” phase. Those of you who are parents may remember this or may still have this little tester to come. NO ANSWER, no matter how detailed, is capable of rendering the “why?” useless as a follow-up question.

Julianna: “I’ve brought a change of clothes for Baby Alice in case she has a wee”
Me: “Yeah, that would be bad wouldn’t it?”
Julianna: “Why?”
Me: “Because she’d get her clothes wet”
Julianna looks at me confused, turns the doll over and says:
“She has a pretend bum”
Followed by:
“She’s going to have a sleep in my…not my bum, my arms”

I was driving to work the other day and as I went around the roundabout into Purley on Thames I saw a car-seat headrest there in the road. You’re thinking how did it get there aren’t you? Me too.
Two scenarios keep playing in my head.

One: Bloke and his missus (he’s a bloke who calls her his missus too) having a raging argument she retaliates to a particularly stinging insult by pulling out her head-rest and chucking it out the window. “I don’t care, you stupid caah, you’ll get whiplash if we get shunted from behind”

Not the nicest eh? How about this though

Two: Naughty school kid slowly easing the headrest out and casually dropping it out of the window. When asked, denies any knowledge of its whereabouts.

Why would there be a headrest in the road? Someone tell me please!

One of my pleasures every day is to have Julianna, fresh out of the bath, in her pyjamas sat on my lap making my T-shirt wet from her just washed hair while I read her a book before bedtime. It’s been Winnie The Pooh for the longest time now and I’m still not bored by the stories. I enjoy doing different accents for the characters.
Pooh – a Geordie
(hey if you want a good example of a Geordie (someone from the North-East of England – particularly the Tyneside area) check out the following youtube clip, Julianna loves it www.youtube.com/watch?v=utkMQJeiK50&feature=related (Bloater, Haddock – I cannat get enough of that either))
(To the Geordie readers – I know, a little stereotypical but hey, send me a link to something better yah radgie charva’s)
Piglet – a stuttering David Sedaris (I’m not saying he stutters but when he’s Piglet he does.)
Eeyore – Nigel Planer (Neil the hippy) in the young ones (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmxRdx7HMME )
Tigger – Brother Love crossed with the cat from Red Dwarf.
Rabbit – Any 1950’s Bombardier-type.
Ah, I could go on but let’s just say I probably have more fun reading it than she does listening to it.


A quick thank you for all the folk who told me they enjoyed the 541 and missed it.

Bah! I’ve run out of time. I am gonna have to detail the challenge next time. Let’s just say this – it isn’t collecting replies (but don’t think that is a get out clause – It’s The 541 for a reason) but it aint to be sniffed at –or is it?

Have a great week

The Mack Daddy